Expecting to travel to Africa in about 3 weeks!!!!!!!

We have very hopeful and exciting news to report!!!!!  We have dropped our agency and hired an local attorney on the ground in Goma.  He has been moving VERY fast, praise God, to get Nicodemu and Anouarite to safety and to their new family!  After much prayer and deliberation, we have made the big jump and we are THRILLED.  The Cummings family, see previous posts, switched to him about 3-4 weeks ago after all the fighting broke out and they were scrambling to do better than the process we have been stuck in.  They are now in the Congo, having been already united with their 3 children on December 27th!  There is a lot more to discuss here about why this attorney is able to move SO much faster than our other attorney who is hired by the agency, but that would take a whole book so I will spare you all for now.  It is a very interesting and fascinating study though into Congolese culture and how we can and should "fit" into their system.

We have been in constant contact with our new attorney and we know that the judge is working on our final adoption judgement!  We hope to get a call in about 2 weeks that our judgement is complete and that we can book our flights!  As soon as we get the final judgment, they will be legally ours, and we can post their pictures for you.  (or I guess we could now since we are no longer with our agency, but we think we will wait until we know for sure that they are OURS!)

Please continue to pray that the fighting does not resume!!  Chuck and I plan to go into Goma around the 3rd week of January as long as there is still peace.  If fighting resumes again, the airport will likely close, and we don't know how we will get them out as the Congo is impassable by car.  So, time is of the essence. 

Thank you all for taking this journey with us and we will keep you posted!

Imminent Fighting Again

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/world/africa/troops-mass-in-fought-over-city-raising-fear-of-new-violence-in-congo.html?_r=0

Troops are massing and drawing very very near.  It could all explode at any minute.  Please keep praying.  Though I can not give any details here yet, we were told by our attorney to stand by in hopes of the possibility of an immediate plan of action.  Why are they not yet on that humanitarian flight?!  Will there ever be the promised humanitarian flight?  God is in control and he loves us and them.  I still believe God will bring them home against all odds.  Please pray with us.

Friends, I wish we had more to report at this time.

We do know that our case is still being considered.  Still praying for their swift deliverance.

We are very disappointed to report that the children are all still in Goma.  No flight has yet come for them.  We are tying to dig for answers for this as well.  We are learning the depth of the brokenness of the system that has crippled their country and orphaned millions of children.  As we share in the sufferings of Christ and reach out to love these children, we are acquiring scars of our own.  I never thought it would be this hard.  But these scars are not bleeding wounds, they are quickly mended and carefully attended to by our own Father.  We have the promise in James 1 that our sufferings and the testing of our faith produce steadfastness.  And that steadfastness will have its full effect, that we may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  So we wrestle to count it all joy.

Thank you for checking in and for your faithful support and prayers!  God is bigger than all of this.  I think we are in the part of the footprints poem when there was only one set of footprints in the sand.

Humanitarian Flight Approved!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, we finally heard that our children and the other 5 children being adopted to the US have been granted the next humanitarian flight out of Goma!  To back up a few days, a UN representative and Immigration Official last Friday/Saturday came to visit the orphanage, interviewed the orphanage director, and each of our children  one by one.  He told them when he left that he would be back for them as soon as possible.  I heard from Gilbert this afternoon that the children have been asking every minute when they get to fly in the airplane!  At this point I don't know that they even understand that this is possibly sparing their lives or that they will be coming to see us, they are just so excited about flying on an airplane!!  I love that childlike simplicity.  I don't think they have been outside of those orphanage walls for approximately 3 years.  They even washed their clothes and have been ready to go for days and are sad as yet another day comes to an end with no one coming to get them.

At about 4:00 this afternoon we learned that the Immigration Official had made it back to Kinshasa (after other humanitarian stops), spoke with our attorney in Congo, and they are now filing the necessary paperwork to get them on the next humanitarian flight.  We do not yet know when the next flight will be but our agency will be checking in with them daily.

Please pray that the flight comes before any new fighting erupts.  So far M23 has withdrawn from Goma and is waiting just a couple miles outside for negotiations.  They have already stated their intentions to "re-take" Goma militarily if negotiations do not occur on their timeline.  There have been no signs of negotiations beginning yet.  As this is all brand new news, we don't yet know what will happen from here once they are in Kinshasa.  We are still praying for a second miracle of humanitarian parole.  Otherwise, the children will have to wait in Kinshasa for the remainder of the legal proceedings to take place (we hope) from Kinshasa.  But much thanks to our mighty God that they will wait in a safer place.  Pray that the flight comes SOON!  Pray for their safe flight across country as this will be a little "puddle jumper plane" I am sure!  And please pray for all of the children and the entire community left behind in this humanitarian crisis. 

Hopeful Update

We are currently awaiting approval for Humanitarian Parole.  It is very rare but in circumstances as dire as these, it can occasionally be granted.  This would mean the children could leave Goma immediately and come into the US.  The hang up with this is that they would have to come out through Rwanda and there are ethical tensions that complicate the process.  Best case scenario would be a combination of Humanitarian Parole and the second possibility below.

Secondly, our agency just informed us that there is the very near possibility of them flying out to Kinshasa on a humanitarian flight across the country (to the safe side of Congo) with an Immigrations Director.  He is flying into Goma tomorrow night in the first humanitarian flight to the area.  He will speak with the orphanage director and they will discuss possible arrangements.  I don't know what would be to discuss!!!!!  They are asking the Committee to move ahead with the current documents we have and finalize the adoption since Goma will not be operational in the courts for the remainder of the process.  Or if not, see if Kinshasa can file the rest of the process.  The latter could still take a while but at least they would be safe  in the waiting.

I am a little bit in shock as we just received the news about the humanitarian flight possibility.  We are still not getting too excited because there are a lot of "ifs".  Thank you to all of you for your friendship, support, and prayers!

Hearts held hostage

After the elation of getting to talk with Nico and Anwa for the first time has now worn off, today has been a much more difficult day.  I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep.  At first, I was recounting all of the remarkable ways so far that it has seemed that it is just more than coincidence or misunderstanding that has laid the path of getting us to this place of grieving hope where we are today.  We have exhausted all options that we could think of over this holiday weekend.  Chuck has spoken with consulates, attorneys, foreign embassy personnel, and has drafted a letter to our congressman and made an appointment at immigration services.  We had our hopes up for a while that they would be able to legally escape to Rwanda on refuge papers and the adoption be completed in the US.  For the time being all answers at this point are that we just have to wait.  There is nothing we can do.  Sitting and waiting is the last thing we want to do after hearing yesterday from Trent that during the fighting a bomb had gone through the orphanage wall and kitchen yet never exploded.  (Thank you God for protecting them, YOU DID HEAR AND DID ANSWER OUR CRIES).  We can see in the near future the crumbling of this nation or much more bloodshed, rape, children becoming orphans and child soldiers as they lose families in the mass exodus, courts with officials who have likely fled, and if anyone happens to still be there, a confusion over who has authority upon return.

If we allow ourselves even for a short time to dwell on the circumstances, we begin to lose hope.  I can not afford to do that!  Neither can Chuck.  The pain of not being able to adopt these children would be one thing, but the pain of wondering their fate if left behind would be something entirely different.  We need a fresh word from God.  These past 6 days have seemingly been never ending days as we wait for Monday morning to roll around and see if our attorney in Congo has made any progress with his requests on our case.  Time is not on our side and if time has a thief, it is Congolese litigation.  As my mother-in-law said, "we don't need everybody to say "yes" we just need God to say "yes".  In which case, we know it will be.  God please keep our hearts and minds in a safe place regardless of the outcome.  And please bring those two precious children that will already forever be Hetzlers home immediately.  I believe, help my unbelief!

We "meet" them on the phone today on Thanksgiving!!!

Last night after midnight we got a call from our friend Trent who said "I am getting on the bus with Gilbert and I am not afraid.  We are going into Goma!!!  We are going to check things out on the ground and make sure they are ok.  We want to see how things are in Goma and take them some food.  If they were my kids, I would want to know. I will call you from there and maybe you can talk to them."

Oh my gosh!!!  As you can imagine, I slept about 30 minutes all night long.  At 2:30 am he called and said they had safely crossed into Goma and that the soldiers weren't in the city.  They were outside of the city training.  At 6:00am we got a call from Trent and got to speak with Nicodemu and Anouarite for 30 minutes!  They are absolutely precious.  They were trying their very best English and we spoke some occasional Swahili. Trent was translating the rest for us.  Highlights... Nicodemu has a very strong, confident, yet gentle and respectful voice and when asked if there was anything he wanted to ask us, he asked what he was going to be able to eat when he came to America.  We told him, "anything you want!!!" and started listing everything I could think of from ice cream to steaks! He also sang us a song and has a very very good singing voice, wow!  Anouarite joined him super quietly at the end of the song.  Anouarite is very shy and Trent says she is super sweet and has been latched onto him all day.  She spoke occasionally, with a very quiet gentle voice.  We finally learned how to say her name.  It is ahn-wa-ree-tay with the accent on the ree.  Her nick name is "ann-wa" and that is how she introduced herself.  "My name is ann-wah".  Nicodemu kept saying in English "my name is nee-ko-day-moo (strong stress on day with his cute little African accent).  They are calling us Mama and Baba, Nicodemu said "hello dada" (sister) to Annalise.

Nathanael and Annalise woke up and got to speak with them as well.  Nicodemu counted to 9 in English and Nathanael and Annalise each sang them a song.  I sang them a song too.

I am still in shock.  We asked how they are and they said "nzuri" which is good.  We explained to them that things are difficult now because of the war and that we are doing everything we possibly can to get them home as soon as possible.  We don't know how much they understand, seems like very little of this concept.  Then the older kids got Anouarite to say "I am hungry, give me some of that food" - in Swahili of course.  Everyone broke out laughing.  Unbelievable.  We are still in shock.  I even prayed against my will that if they would not be able to come home that God would just not allow us to be able to speak with them.  I was so worried laying awake all night and not being able to get through.  Finally the phone rang at 6:00.

I know there is so much more that I can't remember at the moment but that is enough for now.  Trent will call us when he gets out and is taking videos of them!!!  Oh, and get this... Trent says he thinks they look like us!  I just have to laugh out loud.  Chuck and I have thought the same thing, that they somehow look like they belong with us as improbable as that seems.  That was one of our first thoughts when we saw their pictures but we didn't know that anyone else would think that.

This is the best Thanksgiving ever.  And we recorded the whole conversation.  God, please bring them all the way home!  Thank you for this Thanksgiving blessing.

In the aftermath

Fighting ceased yesterday for now.  The rebel group has taken over the city of Goma and is occupying now.  Chuck is in New York today and is trying to get an appointment with the Congolese Ambassador at the United Nations.  Please pray that he will be able to get in to see him and that the meeting will bring about some successful clearances or expeditions with the final court proceedings so that we can get them out of there as soon as possible.  Our Congolese attorney is asking for the same things there in Congo with the Ministry of Justice.  Please pray that God will continue to strengthen the hearts of Nicodemu and Anouarite and that they will not be shaken.  Though we are grieving for them and the region, God has been so near to us, and to them we trust, and is faithful and very much still in control!  Nothing is impossible with our God.

Goma has been taken

Fighting has stopped. 
Goma is now under M23 authority.  M23 seems to have political ambitions, not brutal violence for the sake of violence.

It is far too early to know what this will mean for the adoption, but at least we now know that all 180 or so children in the orphanage are safe from the fighting.
What a tumultuous time for this entire region.

Our personal declaration that Jesus reigns

I want to make it public to all who know us, that if indeed Nicodemu and Anouarite make it home to us in safety, that it will be an absolute miracle from the hand of God.  God forbid that as we cry out to Him and He moves in mighty deliverance, that I would neglect or cower in giving Him all of the glory.  I am specifically pleading with God, Abba "Daddy" Father, through the powerful blood of His Son Jesus Christ.  Whether you agree or disagree, this is what the Holy Scriptures say about the One in whom we put our trust.

Colossians 1:15-17  He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities- all things were created through him and for him.  17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

It would be foolish of us to trust in anything less, and wise of us to put all of our hopes in Him.  I know much of the world would call us foolish but that's okay.  He's worth it and this earth is not our permanent home.  There is mighty power to save in the name and the blood of Jesus.  We believe in the resurrection!  I want anyone who knows me and us and our adoption to know, to hear clearly from us, and I have to continually tell myself, that it will not be by chance or by coincidence if something were to happen to allow these children out safely and moreover to become ours. 

It seems that the Rebel M23 group has overtaken Goma and the airport we were hoping could play a role in getting them out of there.  We did hear this morning that the children are still alive.  For them to get out to safety and for there to somehow be clearances for the children to legally make it through the system that is maybe no longer a system at all, would be an act of God.  By God's grace, we'll declare it as such.  May He pry my lips open to be more faithful to Him.

More than anything, I want to hold those sweet children and rub and kiss their heads and tell them that they are loved and belong with us and that God has delighted to place them in our home and family.  I was reminded this morning as I was praying that my God is not a God who is distant and who is unacquainted with suffering.  He seemed to be telling me, "Karen, I know this suffering very well.  You and the people of Goma, and Nicodemu and Anouarite are not suffering alone.  I am right here with you all in this."  How could our foolish hearts ever reject Him every time we are met with the sufferings of this world?  The God of the Bible is not one who judges from afar, but who in love asks us to lay our burdens and sins on Him.  He has borne them lash by lash, was despised and rejected as He entered into our pain.  His love for us is beyond our comprehension.  Just as Jesus prayed in the garden that the Father would take this cup of suffering from Him, He also prayed with full trust and full surrender to the wisdom of God, "not my will but yours be done".  We stand where He stood.  "Abba, we beg you to take this cup of suffering from us and them.  We know you are mighty to save.  You have proven it throughout all generations.  We eagerly await the parting of the sea so that you can show off your glory again!  And we say with Jesus, not our will but yours be done."  

Hell on earth

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20121120/DA2LMET82.html

The airport has been seized by the M23 rebel group, they are now in the city center.

Our friend was able to get in touch with the orphanage director and the children are still alive.  That is all we know about them at this point.

We are working from every direction to find out how we can get them out of there to safety.  God still sits on the throne and He is with them!  I will say again this morning, nothing is impossible with God.  We humble ourselves before His power, wisdom, and love.

First concern of prayer, the safety of all involved.  Secondly, that the volatility and (seeming?) overturning of governmental power won't stop the adoption procedures.  Thirdly, wisdom for us and provision of a way out.

Urgent!!!

Urgent prayers needed!

The M23 rebel group has now advanced on Goma and began heavy fighting last night, retreated for negotiations, and when they were told negotiations wouldn't happen, this morning began the fighting again .  Goma is under heavy attack at this very moment.

In the mean time, our attorney is doing what he can to legally get clearance to get them out of there to safety (7 children total being adopted), even though the adoption is not yet complete.  Please pray for clearance and for their safety!!!!!  If this is granted, they will have to wait for the airport to re-open to fly out to Kinshasa.

God has been very gracious in steadying our hearts so far to not grumble against Him.  Pray for us in the testing of our faith, that it will prove genuine.  We are hoping in Him for a miracle.  No matter what we put our trust in Him, He alone is God.  And He is always good.  God, their lives and our hearts are fragile.  Let us see your glory!
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20121119/DA2L5VEO0.html

English lessons

We found out today that the kids are spending 5 hours a day in English studies!!!  We knew they had been taken out of their school to study English with a private tutor with the other 5 children also being adopted to America.  I guess I thought they were getting a bit here and there.  They are becoming fast friends I am sure, as we parents are on this side.  Five hours a day?!  I sure hope they have a good teacher!

Breakthrough

Do you remember when I first posted why we are adopting and I mentioned that we are on a journey of learning to take risks and trust God, while He proves himself again and again?  I am so glad we have a God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever!  The kindness of the Lord is pouring in as we get nearer and nearer to having Nicodemu and Anouarite home.  We have more good news than we can report!  Just 3-4 weeks ago we were beginning to despair and wonder if the red tape would ever be able to be cleared.  Here is how our God has moved.

A friend, Andrea, has been faithfully praying with us about the children and for months has been praying that they would make it home by Thanksgiving.  As she told me she was still praying for this, I laughed and thought it is in no way possible, but God can do anything.  Andrea organized a meeting of our friends to pray for every step of the process and for all of us as we make this transition.  This time was such an encouragement and I believe that God put that on Andrea's heart because He was ready to move.  They won't be here by Thanksgiving, BUT it does seem that they could be legally ours by Thanksgiving!!  Thank you Andrea for pulling this prayer time together.

Our case should be heard in court next week and it is expected that we should receive the final judgment by then as well.  The judge said his docket is really full Monday through Wednesday so we are hoping and praying that he can still get our hearing in this week!  Once the judgment is received, we will begin our second and final 30 day waiting period.  Once the adoption certificate is signed after these 30 days, they will legally be our children.  Hetzlers!  Then we will still have to wade through the immigration process, which could take another 2-3 months.  Then we can finally travel to get them.

The children received our package yesterday!  We have pictures of their enormous smiles as they were handed their packages.  We have seen some sweet smiles from them both but we saw Nicodemu's biggest smiles today!  We even noticed that they have a matching dimple under their left eye when they are smiling really big.  They tried on their new clothes and were very happy to be wearing them it seemed.  Nicodemu and Anouarite are both smaller than Annalise, based on the size clothes we sent.  Though Nicodemu especially is small for his age this is very understandable considering the years of malnutrition during their formative childhood years.  They are now eating well and look much stronger and bright eyed.  Chuck was joking with me that he just knows as soon as they get here I'm going to be pumping them with protein until I give them gout.  You better believe it!  We also sent some small toys, some snacks (protein packed Cliff bars, Lara bars, and almonds of course), some English/Swahili children's books, pictures drawn by Nathanael and Annalise, bead bracelets spelling their names, and even got to see pictures today of them looking at pictures of us in a family photo album!  Gilbert reported that they said in Swahili of course, "we can't wait to live with our parents".  My parents are in town and got to join in on all the good news and tell Gilbert to tell them hello from their Mimi and Daddy G too. 

Pastor Gilbert, on his way in to visit the kids and deliver our package

As if that's not enough kindness from the Lord, a dear friend of ours and recent graduate of Princeton, Trent, just took a job in Musanze, Rwanda.  We prayed for him and commissioned him to Africa just a few weeks ago right here in our living room.  He is fluent in Swahili, and is the one who gave us his Swahili textbooks.  He is now living about an hour away from Goma (REALLY?!)  He shared with us that he had a dream that we came to visit him.  Though he has been living in Africa for less than a month, he has already met up with Gilbert in Rwanda (Gilbert is the one who takes food in to the orphanage every two weeks and the one who told Nicodemu and Anouarite about their adoption, read them a letter from us, delivered our package, got them an English tutor, and takes new pictures of them every time he goes).  Trent is working to get his travel visa to travel into the Congo and visit the kids himself!  He plans to make videos AND we will call him while he is there and talk with the kids for the first time while Trent translates!!!  What an unlikely and extravagant gift from our Heavenly Father!

I am sure there is more, as so many good things have piled up.  Once the children y are legally ours, we can post all their pictures here.  There is no denying that they are brother and sister.  They look so much alike!  We hope they will love us as much as we love them.  From what God has unfolded so far, we believe He wouldn't have it any other way.  This must be His plan and when His hand is in something, you better reach out and grab on.  He remains the God who loves to give good gifts to His children.  Feels like Christmas in October around here.

We have birth certificates!

Today, the sherrif was able to deliver and have signed by the mayor of N and A's home-town, their first ever birth certificates!  This is significant for many reasons, but most importantly it is the last of 2 documents needed to file for the adoption hearing.  So, and I hesitate now to give any timelines, the adoption hearing should get scheduled within the next few days.  We don't know how long the wait is for a hearing but at least now, the Congolese attorney is able to schedule it.

We have a few other bits of great news!  Chuck and I, along with other families, were growing increasingly concerned about the amount of time lapsing between steps.  We were beginning to discern that the children might not ever make it home without some significant supernatural intervention (which we believe He has again provided in the past 2 weeks after many prayers) or changes in our agency's oversight of the more relaxed Congolese style of going about business.  The good news is that after reaching out to our agency with our concerns, the International Director has stepped in and is personally overseeing our case and the other 2 that we know of in Goma.  He is setting firm expectations and is in regular, now almost daily communication with the attorney in the Congo.  We have also been getting very regular updates ourselves to what attempts have been made at things, even if they were not successful.  This gives us the confidence that they really are watching things with a careful eye and pushing things along now much much more than before.

Also thankfully, Gilbert was able to visit our children a couple weeks ago and took about 50 amazing pictures of them!  They look SO much more healthy than they did from their pictures in March now that they are eating 3 meals daily as opposed to 1.  They are so happy and laughing in many of the pictures, even playing hide and seek and laughing from behind a giant plant of some sort.  One of our questions was whether or not N and A knew each other and understood that they are brother and sister.  There are 180 children now in the orphanage and I imagine that relationship could get muddied if not nurtured.  They clearly know and love each other!  In one picture, A is snuggled up behind her brother's shoulder, seemingly seeking protection.  In another, they are holding hands.  In another they are sitting head to head.  There are many of them playing together.  Gilbert said they didn't seem to have been told about the adoption, though we sent a letter many months prior.  No one had taken the time to sit down and read it to them I guess.  But he was able to begin telling them and he said they were so very happy.  He was there again this past Monday and we are waiting on a new report.  Gilbert has such a selfless and Christ-like spirit.  He was so eager to begin telling them all about our love for them, read them our first letter, and show them our family picture for the first time.  Hopefully he was able to do this Monday along with his normal bi-weekly food delivery.  He has agreed to deliver to them our package that is filled with clothes, bracelets the kids made them, a couple little toys, and snacks.

We have many hurdles yet to get over but we are recently greatly encouraged.  We are still a few months away from having them home but we hope it is 6 months or less and I think now that may actually be possible!

sending a package!

Thank you all for expressing your care and your frequent trips to our blog for any new information.  I haven't posted because there is so little to share and we are expecting to hear good news any time.

So, here is what I can share.  Our first 30 day waiting period is over!!!  The Municipality in Goma has been very slow issuing the Certificate of no Appeal apparently because the person who signs off on these has not been there for many days.  This is kind of the way things tend to work.  Our attorney is working to have those certificates issued asap, hopefully even this week.  Once he has that and the birth certificate, he plans to "file immediately" for the final (2nd) judgement.  This is the really big step when it comes.  We are not sure yet once it is filed for how immediate or not the hearing will be scheduled.  So... we will keep you all posted as we expect to hear something within the next few days.  And pray that the hearing will be scheduled very soon.

In the meantime, we shopped for their first clothes yesterday!!!  It was such a special feeling.  The whole family went and the kids helped us pick out 2 outfits for each of them and a hoodie (it gets a little cool at night).  At the store we saw a pair of shorts that Annalise already has and Annalise really wanted us to get the same ones for Anouarite so they can match.  Among Nicodemu's new clothes is a red shirt that Chuck found with an American flag on it that says "Gold medalist in training".  Pretty cute.  We have learned of a group from Alabama taking a mission trip to Rwanda and they are willing to take, we hope and are waiting for verification, a small package as space is very limited.  They will not actually see the children or go to the orphanage but the Rwandan pastor who takes food in to them every 2 weeks will retrieve the package and deliver it to them with the food!  We have also put together a family photo album for each of them and will send a letter as well.  Please pray that all of this makes it to them, that the clothes fit, and that they learn of our deep love for them.  We have sent 2 letters but we don't know if they have received them so we don't know what they know about us!

Hoping to update you all more very soon.

First Judgment Received - Check!!!

A major step is completed.  There are 2 judgments in Congolese adoption and we recently got word that our kids' case was heard in court (which we reported in June) and our first judgment was successfully served!  This judgment declares that N and A are in fact legal orphans and we can therefore move on toward the actual adoption hearing.

Both of the judgments are followed by a mandatory 30 day waiting period.  We are currently about one week into our first 30 day waiting period.  This first waiting period is to allow for any remaining living relatives to step forward and claim them.  At the end of the 30 days, if no other family claims them, we wait to receive a Certificate of No Appeal.  Once that certificate comes, we file for their first ever birth certificates to be drafted up for the hearing (they aren't typically born in hospitals and they rarely issue birth certificates).  Once we receive both documents, we file for THE adoption hearing!  We don't really know how long either of those documents takes to process but we will keep you updated.  Our 30 day waiting period is over after the first week of August.

Shielded

M23 rebel army outside of deserted house after entering  Rutshuru

For those of you who read our first post about why we are adopting, I mentioned that our lives are a journey of learning to trust God as He stretches us beyond what we can bear.  Always in return, He reminds us that He is trustworthy.  We have yet another story of His power in our inability.  If you read the last post, just less than 2 weeks ago we were fearing for our childrens' lives in Goma.  There is a rebel malitia group by the name of M23, that had violently overtaken a town (Rutshuru, pictured above) just 25 miles north of their town and were presumed to be heading toward Goma.  What can we do from all the way over here?!  We can't legally take them out of the country yet.  In a country where murder of entire villages and rape of young girls to old women is commonplace, we could see catastrophe around the corner.  I had remembered reading Psalm 10 a few weeks ago and noting that it sounded a lot like what the fatherless are experiencing now in countries like the Congo.  The night I heard of this impending danger, all I could do was cry out to God and remind Him of what His word says about Him.  It says in Psalm 10 "Arise, O LORD, O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted.  ...  you have been the helper to the fatherless.  Break the arm of the wicked and evil doer...  O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more."  I pled with Him for their safety and prayed His Word back to Him. That night and still today I couldn't help but think about all of the orphans who DO die in the hands of wicked men.  What would be the fate of N and A?  Does God rescue every time?  No.  Why not?  I don't know.  But I trust that His wisdom is greater than mine and we too as fellow humans have some great measure of responsibility in the matter.  Maybe He's waiting on us.

I am so relieved to say that God did shield and protect them!  This is an excerpt sent from another mother waiting on children who are in the same orphanage with our children.  Her Rwandan friend lives on the border and takes food in to our children. She wrote:
             "I awoke yesterday to a very upsetting email from our Rwandan friend saying that things were looking bad for Goma and that the war was very near where the orphanage was. He was asking for prayers for the situation. Today, I woke up and there was a much better email from him. He said that the troops for some reason had fled into the forest and had not gone into Goma. Praise God they didn't go where our children are :) I cannot tell you how relieved I am today. God is taking care of our babies and all the other orphans in Goma :) He did say that people were still scared and not going far from their homes and most shops were closed. Food is very expensive."

The bible tells of armies of angels protecting those who were trusting in God in dire circumstances.  Could the troops have seen some warrior angels that night?!  I don't know but I am certain that God had his hand in it one way or another.  The next morning we saw news reports that the UN had sent in troops to protect the city! http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5i-5mGUlfesCQ4brpbExqtUzgvx2g?docId=CNG.0237ab58454ec150010d2c920a06e63d.301  Sometimes, there are things in life that we just cannot control.  I am forever grateful that I know the God who holds the universe in His hands and who loves and fights for those who call on His name.  

Rebel Fighting Imminent

The region where N and A are living is becoming increasingly unstable.  They are in a dangerous place as a rebel group is threatening their town of Goma and other surrounding towns.  Please pray for their safety.  Of course, if the city is under siege and at war they will be fleeing and suffering and not processing adoptions.  More urgently at this point, their lives could be in danger.  This is a brutal and very violent group.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOwLpVv3I-o&feature=em-share_video_user    Please pray for this nation and our hopeful children there!  This is the very reason these precious children are up for adoption, there are millions of orphans as the oppression has had little reprieve for generations.  How can this be allowed to continue?  God, arise and defend the fatherless!

Psalm 10:8 - 18  

 8 He [the wicked] sits in ambush in the villages; in hiding places he murders the innocent. His eyes stealthily watch for the helpless;  9 he lurks in ambush like a lion in his thicket; he lurks that he may seize the poor; he seizes the poor when he draws him into his net.  10 The helpless are crushed, sink down, and fall by his might.  11 He says in his heart, "God has forgotten, he has hidden his face, he will never see it."  12 Arise, O LORD; O God, lift up your hand; forget not the afflicted.  13 Why does the wicked renounce God and say in his heart, "You will not call to account"?  14 But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless.  15 Break the arm of the wicked and evildoer; call his wickedness to account till you find none.  16 The LORD is king forever and ever; the nations perish from his land.  17 O LORD, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear  18 to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more. 

Praise the Lord!!! Real progress!

The heavens declare the glory of God over Africa, summer 2011

Are we seeing the parting of the waters?  I think we are witnessing the mighty hand of God as the walls of water stand in place and He makes provision for N and A to in fact walk through to freedom and hope.  Wow, we're so encouraged!  We got some amazing news this morning!  Significant progress was made on our case with N and A, even more than we had imagined and prayed for (Eph 3:20!).  The attorney's assistant was able to gather and process all the necessary paperwork to begin our adoption in Congo and our case was heard in court!  We were just praying and hoping for the assembling of the paperwork since that had been such a sticking point, but the fact that the case was already heard in court is another huge step!        

There are still several steps ahead of us and it's never over until it's over, but this is an important step forward.  We'll write another post soon letting you all know what's next, but for now we want to celebrate what God has done so far.  Thanks for all your prayers!

Waiting... a glimmer of hope

We are awaiting a report from our agency letting us know of any hopeful and necessary developments.  As I posted earlier, our attorney's assistant made it into Goma last week and was working to light a fire and get some paperwork moving.  He has now returned to Kinshasa so we are anxiously and prayerfully waiting to hear hopefully that something has finally started moving!!!  If it has not, we were lovingly told that it will not likely be able to progress especially now that there is no one there pushing it.  It is all very complicated and too much detail to share here but we hope that we will only have good news and be able to get back on the "adoption train" with precious N and A.  We have been praying for God to move mountains and we know He can.  We also trust Him enough to know that whatever He has planned is best.   

Overlooking the Nile River 1 yr ago, praying for our kids.  Still waiting and praying.

Meanwhile, my new friend (mentioned in the previous post below) whom you can learn more about here, sent us a brochure in the mail.  At the time they made up the brochure, they had no idea that the kids pictured there are our kids!  I can't believe it, I have a brochure pleading for the sponsorship of the kids in our orphanage so that they can all eat.  And on the front is a big picture of our very own A that I have just fallen in love with.  She is smiling!!!  And sadly very thin with a poked out belly and shaved head.  Poor baby.  I can't wait to get her home, feed her, give her a good warm bath, snuggle her up in a warm towel, lotion her, put her in her new pj's that I have been holding onto for months, sing to her, rock her, and put a bow on that bald little head!!!  When I thanked this mother who sent the pictures from her recent visit to the orphanage she said, your son was the other child in the brochure and at the time I didn't even know they belonged to you.  Huhh?!?!?!?!  I couldn't believe it.  I had already poured over every child in the pictures to find him but I couldn't recognize him.  I think I now know which one he is but it's crazy that even though I have stared at his sweet little face many a time in the only picture we had previously had of him, I couldn't even recognize him from a different angle, different expression.  They are so adorable.  I don't know if that is just because I see them through the eyes of a mother but I already love them and think they are so cute.  I have that same ridiculous pride over them that any mother has over her children.

Lastly, our agency's International Director and his Assistant are going back to the Congo this week for their second trip.  This is a crucial trip for all of the Congo families as they are making major decisions on our behalf and on the behalf of all of the families and children who will come after us.  Please pray for their safety and for God's wisdom and favor as they navigate this treacherous and beautiful thing called Congolese adoption.

On the Move Again

After about 4 months of gridlock, we have finally gotten what seems like a breakthrough in getting the process moving again!  Our attorney sent his assistant to Goma and we got word today that he arrived yesterday and is working on paperwork himself.  He is getting the ball rolling again it seems.  In order to prove their legal orphan status for the courts, they must get the P.V. of Abandonment from the Dept. of Social Affairs and go to the courts to obtain a judgement suppletif.  We hope both of these things can happen while our attorney's assistant is in Goma this week.  Pray for this miracle!  He is also training a local lawyer to handle the case in his absence. This could be a very helpful step as it is very difficult for him to work this case from the other side of the country.

As an unexpected surprise, God has been answering our prayers in another way!  We have been praying, of course as any parents separated from their hopeful children would, that God would care for them and protect them.  I got an email on Monday from another adoptive mother in our program who is also matched with siblings out of the same orphanage in Goma.  We were able to talk and she said she was just there at their orphanage in March and that after reading my blog realized that she had met our children!  It is an amazing story really of our loving heavenly Father caring for these children and the God-given fighter spirit in this mother who would go to any cost to care for the children she is awaiting.  After being contacted and told by another party that the conditions in this orphanage are worse than could be expected and that the children are literally starving to death, she raised a bunch of funds, started a ministry, and jumped on a plane to go over and feed these orphans!  Since March, they have been all eating 3 meals a day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I wept when I learned that while we were praying and trusting that God would care for them, He sent flesh and blood in the form of a mother to go and do just that!  The cherry on top is that she has tons of pictures from her time there and we were able to see more pictures of N and A than the single picture we have of each of them.  In the picture of A, she is even smiling a big smile!!!  That means a lot to me because she looks very sad in the picture we have of her so I am glad to see that she isn't too traumatized to be happy!  She looks very hungry but I trust now that she is better fed.  If you want to read this amazing story, visit her blog at sweetinterruptions.blogspot.com  She has included pictures of food delivery and wrote about what it was like to meet her kids for the first time.  You should also check out her minsitry's web-site at mercysmission.org.  You can see other pictures there of the orphanage and the children.  By God's grace pieces are coming together both in my mind and in the adoption.  We are still so far from the finish line and so we hold onto N and A loosely, though we will continue to pray and fight like heck for them.

A Small Update

Many weeks have passed now with no updates really until today.  Still the case has not progressed any further but a change has been made in hopes that things may start moving again.  The local pastor from the orphanage was supposed to travel to the kids' hometown of Masisi about 30 miles away to obtain appropriate documentation on their legal orphan status.  As expected, communication across country and trying to get the pastor to either understand what he is supposed to do to advance the legal process or just getting him to do it some time in the next 10 years (jk) has brought the case to a halt.  So, today we heard that our attorney is sending his assistant, Jerome, to Goma and Masisi to begin working on the paperwork himself.  We see this as a positive and hopeful step!  He is planning to travel next week if all goes according to plan.  Please pray for his safety as this is a difficult travel situation and that he has success finding all that he needs and working with the local government.

Whatever happens with this next step will really shed light on whether or not this case is able to move forward.  Once we get the appropriate documentation that the children are in fact legal orphans - which from what we understand, they know exactly what happened and why they are orphans but it all must and should be carefully documented - then they can move on to applying for the first adoption judgement.  This will begin the court process.  Please pray that if these are the children God intends for us that there will be some breakthrough with this visit and that something get moving and completed.  Thanks for all your support and prayers as we continue to wait.  It has now been over a year since we started the process and 6 months since we were matched with N and A.  All the US side of things has been complete for months but on the Congolese side we have a long way to go.  We have settled again in trusting that God's plan is best and His timing is perfect.

Going Forward

Exodus 14:15-16 "The Lord said to Moses, "Why do you cry to me?  Tell the people of Israel to go forward.  Lift up your staff, and stretch your hand over the sea and divide it, that the people of Israel may go through on dry ground."

As you can imagine this has been a week of disappointment, doubts, questions, bouts of high hopes, weeping, and praying for us as a family. We have come to a decision to "go forward" and keep pursuing N and A. When God told Moses and the Israelites to go forward, there was nothing in front of them but the Red Sea! We don't know that the outcome will be like that of the Israelites when God parted the waters and made a way out for them. But we do believe with all of our hearts that He can and will make a way if that is what is best for N and A and for us. We have been asking God what He wants to do regarding these two children because we know that no matter what we may think seems best to us, His ways may sometimes be different and as always, His ways are higher and better! Nonetheless, after praying and waiting we don't feel any interest in considering other children yet.

I love my husband!  Immediately after the phone call (that he stayed so composed through while I sat silently in disbelief with tears dropping to my shirt) Chuck had the following thoughts.  Just because something is difficult, looks impossible, is time-consuming or inconvenient doesn't mean we should choose the easiest route.  There has been such a stronghold of evil over this region where over 5 million people have died in the past decade and we are going to just say, it's difficult so we should give up?!  Some things (and lives) are worth fighting for.  Maybe there needs to be someone to "blaze the trail" and try to open up a pathway for many other children to make it out of Goma and into a family.

I loved his train of thought because my heart was of course attached to these children.  We have been praying for them by name several times a day for months now.  We have their pictures blown up big side by side on our refrigerator.  They already feel like part of our family.  Then I had to allow my dreams of having them soon and young to crumple away as I have been praying and praying that they would make it in time to adjust a little before beginning Kindergarten and pre-school!  Looks like they could be older yet and we might miss even more of their childhood in waiting.  Or... it may not happen.  It is a "risky adoption" kind of like a high risk pregnancy.  There are many unknowns and no child has yet been successfully adopted out of Goma that we know of.  I think there have been a few adoptions out of the Congo altogether. (If you are reading for the first time, you may want to read our post on "How did we choose the Congo?")

Many of you may be wondering how it happened that we were matched with "unreachable" children.  I want to affirm that we have a SUPER agency who is in a pilot program with Congo.  They were very upfront that there will be many unknowns as they chart new territory.  We don't fault them at all.  We think we may see God's perfect timing in letting us get in at the beginning while they were still even considering Goma.  Remember while we were in Uganda and pursuing Ugandan adoption God seared the word "Zaire" into my heart and mind and the very next day our agency opened up a program in the Congo?!  I don't think this was coincidence.  Had we started the process now, we would have missed these kids because Lifeline is now focusing only on the much safer and sure city of Kinshasa.

Potential contacts that have developed in a matter of days that give us hope that God might be making a way to adopt N and A from Goma:

• A dear student at Princeton whom Chuck has been mentoring weekly for 3 years now is named Moses and is from one of Congo's bordering countries, Rwanda.  When Chuck told him the news, he phoned his mother right away.  They now live in the US but still have family in Kigali, Rwanda.  She gave us contacts of family members in Rwanda who know people in Goma and the surrounding region.  These contacts in Goma and Rwanda have already expressed eagerness in helping us in whatever way they can.  It's not clear whether these contacts will actually assist us in this adoption, nonetheless, this was promising news within just a couple of days after our disappointing call.
• Another dear friend, Matthew Pearson, just took a new job working for Living Water International and will be traveling into Uganda and other nearby countries often.  If paperwork needs to be transported (there is no courier system in the Congo) he may be able to help somehow in that process.  Also, he will have many trustworthy contacts through his work.
• Our agency called today and had just talked with our attorney in Kinshasa this morning.  They seemed much more hopeful that it could happen but it could still take a long time.  Next step for prayer.  Someone from the orphanage must travel (where travel is difficult) about 30 miles to the kids' hometown of Masisi to gather appropriate information and documentation that they are in fact orphans.  They know the story but it must be documented in proper legal format.  He has to learn from Armand, Lifeline's attorney in Kinshasa, how to do that.

We don't know how this will turn out, but in faith we are walking forward.   God knows what is best and He loves His children (us included!)  Inexpressible gratitude goes to our families, co-workers, and many friends who helped keep our heads and hearts on track.

A very difficult phone call

From our agency we got a call Tuesday.  The International Director and his Associate had just returned from their first trip to the Congo, as we are in the pilot phase of the program.  We are among the first families trying to adopt children out of the Congo.  With each point, our hearts sank lower and lower.

"Things went really really well in Kinshasa...



But we learned that there is even more of a world between Kinshasa and Goma than we anticipated...



Communication between Goma and Kinshasa is next to impossible and travel across country is too dangerous...



We want to make sure you understand that it would be really really difficult to make it happen...



It could take not 6-8 months but much much longer if not indefinite...



We will only be proceeding with adoptions out of Kinshasa at this point...



 We will leave no stone unturned if you plan to continue to pursue N and A in Goma or we could match you with other children in Kinshasa...



We are praying for you and will wait to hear from you..."



We have had 2 days to cry and dare to hope.  We are seeking God for clarity and wisdom.  Yes, we are already attached to these children but it is much much more than that.  Didn't God orchestrate this thus far?  Or did He?  Will we give up so soon?  We know His plans will never fail.  These children and all the children in Goma need hope.  They need someone to look past "difficult" and trust that with God NOTHING is impossible.  But to move ahead, we must know that He is with us.  Please pray as we make a difficult decision.

Info on Congo

Want to know more about what life is like where our kids are living?  We've been learning about the Congo over the past 7 months and here are the highlights.

First of all, it has many names: Congo, the Congo, Congo-Kinshasa (as opposed to its neighbor to the north, Congo-Brazzaville, differentiated by their capital cities), Democratic Republic of (the) Congo, DR Congo, DRC, and formerly Zaire from 1971-1997 (as well as a few other names before that!).  Any of these names besides Zaire is acceptable.

Congo is the second largest country in Africa with an area about the size of the US east of the Mississippi River.  Recently a New York Times journalist said what many others have believed, Congo is the least developed nation in the world.

The country is divided east to west by impassible jungles; this divide has created difficulties for unification and security.  Eastern Congo, the area where our children live, has felt the effects most.  National conflicts, undisciplined soldiers, local militia, and rogue armies like the LRA (Lord's Resistance Army) have directly or indirectly caused the death of approximately 5-6 million people over the past 15 years in this part of Africa.  Those who have escaped with their lives have been displaced from their homes, brutalized and stripped of dignity and livelihood.  Eastern Congo is known as the rape capital of the world, where it is estimated that 40 women are raped every day.

Thankfully there are rays of hope in the midst of seemingly endless despair.  God has servants ministering to the hurting and homeless like the couple who founded and run the orphange where our children live.  Praise God for them and ask that he would continue to grant them safety, energy, and resources to maintain and expand their work to orphans and war affected women.

Below are some pictures (not of our children - we are not allowed to post those yet), an article with some photos, and a video report if you'd like to learn more about Congo generally and specifically the area where our children live, Goma, North Kivu.

Chuck

Video report - one of my favorites
National Geographic article

Laundry laughs

Well, for your enjoyment, here's a "mommy of the year moment".  Not so much related to the adoption as a day in the life of the Hetzlers.  I care for a couple of cutie brothers aged 2 yrs and 6 months 2 days per week, both of whom are in diapers.  Baby Joel naps in Nathanael's room while he is at school.  Nathanael's laundry basket is next to his trash can in his room.  Well...  let's say I'm not such a great shot from across the room and apparently threw a diaper into the laundry basket last week.  No big deal unless you throw the whole basket in the washer a few days later, diaper and all.  That's exactly what I did and as I went to move Nathanael's clothes over from the washer to the dryer I found that they were covered in some mysterious gelatinous stuff.  I mean covered.  I finally figured out what it was and found myself in the back yard this morning shaking out each and every piece of clothing in the basket, white stuff flying, even the socks were full of diaper filament!  Annalise thought it was pretty funny and captured the not so great mommy moment on her hot pink camera she got for Christmas.  So, the clothes are back in the wash for a second round and we'll see what happens.  Nathanael, sorry buddy.  Hope you aren't gonna be wearing diaper fibers to school the next two months.  Maybe spring will save the day and we'll just move on to shorts.  Linda and Jane, if you are wondering why I showed up to Annalise's parent/teacher conference today looking like it had snowed on only me, now you know why.

I imagine our laundry mountains are only going to grow as we add our 2 more children!  I had better start stepping it up.  The last time I found myself scrubbing laundry in the outdoors was during our time in Uganda.  This morning as I was shaking diaper out of our Nathanael's clothes I couldn't help but think of another laundry laugh moment so I dug up the picture.  Notice the Ugandan girl in the background.  Shortly after this picture was taken, she walked over and said, "you look like you could use some help?", which was her gracious way of saying that I clearly did not know how to hand wash my clothes!  I'm surprised they didn't catch on fire as fast and furious as she scrubbed.  I watched in awe and humbly received her instruction.  What would she say if she could see me today shaking disposable diaper gel out of our clothes?!  N and A, our family is far from perfect and often even a mess in many ways but we promise we will love you and have lots of fun together!  Hurry up and get here.  And I promise, I'll try not to wash your clothes in baby diapers.

Wewe unasema Kiswahili?! ( you speak Swahili?)

Just finished a double-header Swahili lesson with our dear friend Brittany Cesarini!  We had chakula cha jioni (dinner) together and then hit the masomo (lessons).  Brittany, also known by her Swahili name, Karima meaning compassion, is a graduating senior at Princeton University and is in my bible course through PFA.  She is fluent in Swahili and was just awarded a fellowship for a 1-2 year project in Tanzania and will be leaving at the end of the summer.  We are SO very thankful to have her.  Thank you Karima!  Can you imagine what it would be like for us to try to learn Swahili living in our beloved former homes of rural KY, IL, St. Louis, or AL?! Anybody speak Swahili around there?  We are also blessed to have Princeton friends Moses (from Rwanda) and Trent (Swahili student who has spent much time in Africa using his Swahili) to keep us laughing at ourselves as we try to use our limited Swahili with them.  Asante sana sana sana.  If that's not enough, a new friend Jane at our church is Kenyan and Swahili is her native tongue.  Annalise and I love seeing her every Tuesday morning as she joyfully speaks way more Swahili to us that we can understand.  But each time we leave knowing something new and feeling very loved.  Wonders never cease...

Growing Pains

      -written Friday, March 16

As the outside is dreary and rain trickles slowly down my living room window, so do the tears today trickle slowly down my cheeks. For this I am so thankful! I just dropped off Nathanael at Kindergarten and Annalise to her pre-school and have a rare morning of no appointments so in this quiet morning, all the feelings stirring underneath are afforded the opportunity of release. When we started this process of adoption, I feared that I would not FEEL a deep attachment to these children. Today, possibly still many months from finally receiving N and A home, I miss them deeply. I cry over them as their mother and they may not yet even know that I exist. I can't even begin to grasp the dangers they are in and the loneliness and confusion they may feel. What have they seen and experienced? At the very least, they have lost both mother and father at the same time. How do children process such a thing? Especially without their mother and father to help them process it? I don't know but I DO know that God has answered my prayers in giving me love for them and I trust that He is answering our daily prayers that they feel His love and know His protection. When an earthly father can do nothing to protect his children, his prayers are a mighty tool in the hands of their heavenly Father. When an earthly mother can't scoop them up into her arms and cover them in kisses, her prayers surely beckon to them the presence of the Creator of mommies! How long will we have to wait? Today, it feels that the wait could be indefinite. 

     About 4-5 weeks ago we heard the good news that they are in fact HIV negative and we signed on the dotted line to accept their referral. We also learned that we could correspond with them via internet through our attorney and wrote them a letter trying to explain adoption and our love for them. Since then, silence and a stall in the process. (Chuck just came home and told me that our attorney in the Congo has been extremely ill and will hopefully be back to work in a couple weeks.) At that moment of accepting the referral I feel like life's longest umbilical chord was stretched from Princeton, NJ USA to a dusty and lava covered orphanage in Goma, North Kivu Province, Democratic Republic of Congo. They are at the foot of an active gigantic volcano that could erupt again at any time, on the edge of Lake Kivu which is filled with poisonous gasses, and surrounded by brutal, hellacious war and disease. Yet, I am saddened but not worried. Our heavenly Father loves us and these children more than we can begin to muster, and He has put it in our hearts to love and pursue them. He will see them home if this is in fact where He intends them to be. I feel the kicks and growing pains in my heart this time around rather than in my womb. In the same way that they were not always comfortable when I carried Nathanael and Annalise, they were then and are now a welcomed sign of life and love to come. As for all the other orphaned children ... I am growing uncomfortable with the fact that I don't yet feel the same love for them. I pray that God will fix that in my heart and in the hearts of all of us. Now, off to grab that illusive shower while I can!

We Have a Match!!!

Two days ago (Wed. December 14^th) at 4:40pm marked the beginning of the next chapter of our lives and of our family. We finally got the call we had been waiting for. That afternoon I briefly checked my email and wanted to take a quick glance on the internet at some sweet little Congolese orphan faces. The same faces I had looked at many times before but felt a hunger just to look at the faces of OUR Congolese children. Until later that afternoon, they had just been in our hearts and our hopes, and a face previously seared into my memory (see How Did We Choose the Congo?). Saddened by the idea of longing to see them but looking at other children similar to them, I decided to get back to work but offered up a quick prayer that it would be soon that we finally got to see our own. Meanwhile, as Chuck walked into the house he later told me that he had this strange feeling that we would hear from Heather, our liason with the adoption agency, that they had found our children. He dismissed the thought, knowing that our papers had only reached the Congo a week or two before.

While I was juggling the needs of Nathanael, Annalise, and baby Caleb, trying to make Christmas cut-out cookies for the students coming over, etc. etc. Chuck stuck his head into the kitchen, with his eyes wide open and told me Heather was on the phone with some really good news and wanted to talk to both of us at the same time. I immediately felt my soul well up within me and knew we were possibly about to learn about and even see the children God has been growing in our hearts, to put it as our adopted friend, little Zoey says. The kids knew this was serious and they didn't even attempt to act out as usual for our attention while we were both pre-occupied on a very serious phone call! They too were wide-eyed, hearts pounding too I am sure. Heather told us there were 4 kids they wanted us to know about. There was a boy and girl sibling pair, and two unrelated 2 yr old boys. Heather began with the brother/sister pair and it was all so fitting and exactly what we had thought we would want from the beginning. A bit surprising was the fact that they were in the especially unstable Northern Kivu province and would have to be brought somehow across the country to Kinshasa for us to receive them. So, we begin hearing details about an estimated 5 yr old boy and his 4 yr old sister whose family had been displaced to the bush during the widespread conflict and life-threatening social and political situations.  

Heather told us she would send over more information about them and a picture of each of them as soon as we hung up.  I had to get Nathanael and Annalise to Awana at church but I was dying to see these pictures and learn more about them.  I didn't want to just glance at them and run out the door so I forced myself to wait until I got home from dropping the kids off and really allow myself to have a moment!  Chuck on the other hand could not wait and told me right then and there that he was not waiting for me to get home, that he just couldn't!  Of course the question in my mind was, "is she the little girl I saw in that vision?"  (see jounal entries in "How did we choose the Congo?")  I rushed home and tried to not read too much off of Chuck's face.  I sat in front of the computer, offered the fastest millisecond prayer and opened their pictures.  When the little girl's picture popped up on the screen, I just laughed.  She was SO intense.  She had those same big beautiful brown eyes, same features all around, round face, same cheekbones and mouth.  However, her eyes though the same were so very different.  She was so sad and intense where the girl I saw in the vision had eyes dancing with joy and love.  We had made a deep emotional connection that day that forever changed me.  This little girl's eyes told a different story.  The little boy too is adorable!  He looks like he doesn't want to smile but almost cracks a little skeptical smirk.  Maybe he has never seen a camera before?  They look a lot alike and are about 12 months apart, biological brother and sister who were separated for about 2 years and were recently reunited at an orphanage.  I think there was no doubt in either of our hearts that we wanted these children to be our children.  The only thing we now wait for in order to officially accept the referral was for someone to get to them through the impassable war-affected North Kivu region and set up testing for HIV.  We were warned that this could take some time.  We finally heard word on February 22 that they are in deed HIV negative and we accepted the match right away!!!  I wish I could post their pictures and names here but we are not yet allowed to do that.  We may soon be able to publish their names but I'm not sure.  I will say, we had planned to give them new names until we saw their given birth names!  They are very similar to the names of our own biological children and we know they were given to them by their birth parents rather than the orphanage so we will most likely not change a thing!  The girls even have the same stocky build and the boys are both lanky.  It was as if they belonged here all along...

How Did We Choose the Congo? ... we didn't, it chose us

     Well, to allay the suspense, I will say in a nutshell that after much begging and pleading with God to somehow lead us to "the right" children, He spoke!  We were in Uganda at the time, the Democratic republic of Congo's neighbor to the east.  I will unfold the details as we remember them as God shifted our focus from Uganda to the Congo.  Don't miss the journal entries at the bottom, as they reveal the catalyst for change.

     Our original plan was to take steps in the only direction we felt drawn to in our hearts.  Chuck was feeling pretty sure about Uganda as he already had a love for the country and it's recent history.  They have an estimated 3-5 million orphans and had been traumatized by the LRA and the Aids epidemic.  I saw Uganda as a place of great need and had no other place in mind, so we set off to find a reputable Adoption Agency with a Uganda program.  We settled on Lifeline Children's Services out of Birmingham, AL and could not be more pleased!  We shortly thereafter began filling out the mountains of paperwork and making a financial commitment.  Simultaneously, we had the opportunity through Chuck's campus ministry work to accompany a group of 15 Princeton students to Uganda to do mission work and begin gathering information and experience for developing a long-term relationship and ministry and service work among them.  We were thrilled to go along and thought... maybe we will even meet our children there and then know who to adopt!  I also was hoping for more clarity because I was still spending many days and nights wondering what didn't feel right.  Were we doing the right thing?  We prayed many times that this trip would help form for me some attachment to the people and country of Uganda and that I would gain a peace and excitement about Ugandan adoption.  From the time the plane landed in Entebbe, the very opposite happened.  I began feeling very uneasy and an inexplicable feeling of "this doesn't fit".  I did gain a deep love and appreciation for the beautiful and exuberant people of Uganda.  But, as far as adoption was concerned, each day felt more like our children weren't here.  We were learning on a moment by moment basis that the Ugandan people were making great strides to care for their own orphans and considered international adoption a last resort.  In a country where 70% of the population is under 30 years old, many Ugandans are courageously taking up the mantle of caring for these orphans and see them as the future of their own country.  We saw astounding projects and children's homes caring for tens of thousands of orphans.  http://www.watoto.com/   Meanwhile, I was taking every opportunity to form bonds and relationships with the beautiful people of Uganda.  And this I did with great joy.  Despite their daily struggle, there is a characteristic "Ugandan smile" that has enough wattage to light up any dark place.  Our time in Africa became for us a paradox of gracious welcome and unity among our new Ugandan friends alongside our own inner struggle and confusion concerning the adoption.

Living Hope - a ministry dedicated to help restore dignity to women either HIV+ or war effected

This little boy was roaming around outside at about 10pm.  He came with me, spoke not a word of English, and snuggled in my lap for over an hour before he headed back outside.  Where was he going I wonder?

Who says I don't belong here?  A fabulous group of University students who lavished us with love.

This little boy from one of the Watoto Children's Villages was so very proud to show off his dominoes.

An impressive 8 yr old girl with a heart the size of Africa itself.  She could do anything we could do!

Where are their mommies and daddies?  Double time for Chuck today!

These Ugandan babies are fortunate enough to be in the Watoto Church "system".  They will be placed in a Watoto village which provides a permanent home with a widow as "MaMa" and cared for through college.  All supported by the local church!

One of Watoto's babies' homes.  GENIUS.  http://www.watoto.com/

     As you can see, we loved our time with our Ugandan friends.  All the while, something just was not right.  It was like Chuck and I both had gates over our hearts saying "these are not your children".  Though it was easy to just love on the children in front of us, we felt lost and a bit unsettled.  Where are we going?!  Three days before the end of our time in Uganda, God broke through and answered in an unexpected way.  Below are excerpts of my journal entry of what we now understand was God's hand reaching into our lives to bring us to the children He intended for us all along.  They weren't in Uganda, but right next door.  Our own "Macedonian Call" ( Acts 16:6-10  http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts%2016:6-10&version=ESV ) was the catalyst to our shift from Ugandan adoption to Congolese Adoption.  In this passage, Paul saw a face and was told a place and the same thing happened to me! I too saw a face and was told a place!

Journal Excerpts recording the events that led to an undeniable shift to the Congo, aka "Zaire"!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011  "So many vascilating thoughts about adoption, particularly Ugandan adoption these past several days.  Been praying for the Lord's good and perfect will to be accomplished no matter what.  I had a great time with the Lord this morning early before others awoke.  He gently and kindly revealed to me that I haven't been trusting Him.  His ways are always good! He is fully trustworthy.  I have no need to worry or be anxious..."

Thursday, August 25  "Last night, Wednesday, we prayed with our dear friend and student, Sabrina.  We were praying specifically (at her offer) for the Lord's guidance in leading us to potential Hetzler adopted children.  As we prayed I saw a picture of a girl in my mind.  I am not certain this was from God but I will record it.  It was a picture with motion at the beginning (like live action video a few seconds, maybe 5).  This little girl was so beautiful, sitting in the back of what I understood to be a wagon.  There were other children in front of her and she was squeezed in the back but I only saw her. She was darker than us, possibly even light/golden skinned black.  She had beautiful brown eyes ... and her hair was very dark.  She was smiling and laughing and I remembered thinking she IS the right fit, she BELONGS with us.  Even though I think she could be mixed or a different nationality, brown skin, she somehow"belonged".  She was about 4 years old.

     She could still be Ugandan but her features were not much like what we have seen here and her skin was not the same color.  So we are wanting to remain patient and wait on the Lord.  I also remembered wondering "where is your brother?" and kind of looking to see him but she was close up and I could only see her.  I got the impression that he could have been near by but I'm not sure.  She had striking brown eyes and a very round face.  We have prayed lots that God would lead the way.  We know that what He has for us is right and good and we certainly don't want ANYTHING but that!  His ways are unsearchable and He is so good and loving and kind."

Thursday, August 25th pm  "Well, I'm here on the bed in Kampala, Uganda under the mosquito nets listening to the soothing beating of rain outside our open window, trying to piece together crazy bits from this crazy day.  This entire day has seemed very long and we even contacted our travel agent to see if we could move our flight up a day sooner.  Kampala is pretty filthy and the air is difficult and even painful to breathe at times. 

    I have much less peace bordering on discomfort.  Uganda feels wrong for adoption for our family.  Instead of clarity, there has been confusion.  Instead of confirmation, Ugandans really desire and work toward keeping their own orphans in their own country...

    On the flip side of things, one thing I did not mention with the vision of the girl was that the country/word "Zaire" also came to mind, more than once.  I know nothing about Zaire and hesitated to mention it to Chuck because it seems so wierd, crazy, out there and the most significant event was the vision.   I didn't want him (or me) to discount the vision for the craziness of a random "Zaire" popping into my head.  Eventually I couldn't stop thinking about Zaire and blurted out to Chuck "where's Zaire?"  He wasn't sure but he looked at a map (later of his own volition) and learned that Zaire was the former name of the DRC - Democratic Republic of Congo. 

     We spent all day kind of moping around, feeling lost and out of place, and discouraged that we had had a plan and now we don't.  Still adopt?  Domestic? How do we know?"

     Chuck suggested that we ask God if He in deed was speaking to us, that He would confirm.  So, we prayed and He confirmed twice in the same day!

• We went back to Lifeline Adoption Agency's web-site to explore other options.  To our shock, alongside the Uganda and Ethiopia programs was now listed CONGO.  Chuck kept hitting refresh and I was wondering if I was still in the twilight zone.  Was I seeing this for real or seeing it in my head as I had seen the girl and understood that she was in Zaire?  When we returned to the states we called the agency and were told that they had been working on a Congo program for months and had just posted it that week.
• As we looked at pictures on the internet of Congolese children versus Ugandan children, there are distinctly different characteristics.  I was floored and my eyes teared up many times as I saw different facial features that matched that of the little girl in my vision.  There is also a distinctive "Congolese eye" that is undeniable.

Still, this was a big change to be made and we wanted to give it some time to settle before making the change for sure.  After we had been home for a few days, we called our agency and made the change.  By God's blessing, had we been successful in completing our home-study before leaving for Africa, we would have been country specific and locked into Uganda.  By God's grace, though we tried, our agency representative was booked for final interviews until we returned from our trip.  The final confirmation was in my heart.  Ever since that day in Uganda, the uncertainty about the adoption has gradually come to an end.  I was realizing that this was meant to be.

We live in a natural world and we are accustomed to the natural.  When the supernatural reaches in, we don't always know how to recognize it.  I now understand that God was being kind in whispering Zaire rather than Congo because I would have always wondered if the Congo was my own idea.  Since I knew nothing of Zaire, I know I didn't come up with it!  I laugh at how well my Father knows me and loves me enough to use my weaknesses to reveal His plan.  We pray because we believe God answers.  Our faith is not a religion but a relationship with the God who is our Father and the Father to the Fatherless.  Now we believe even more and recognize that the supernatural Creator and Sustainer has indeed reached in and changed the course of our lives and the lives of 2 precious orphans in the Congo who are awaiting a home.